Introduction
Coaching thrives on encounter, depth, and the courage to navigate inner terrain that is sometimes difficult to access. The following account describes a coaching session with a client who is going through a sensitive phase in her life. The goal of the setting was to gain greater clarity about her needs, internal blocks, and possible perspectives for fulfilling relationships – not through quick solutions, but by creating a space for self-responsibility and personal development.
Phase One: Exploration and Building Rapport
The session began with an exploratory conversation of about 20 minutes, aimed at building trust and gaining an initial access point to the client’s inner world. The client – a woman in her forties, calm, precise in her expressions, and with a composed demeanor – described her life circumstances objectively, with little emotional color. She appears to fulfill her role as the manager of a small business with great discipline and structure, which was also reflected in her way of speaking.
The exploration quickly revealed that she is used to having things under control – both professionally and personally. However, what stood out was a lack of emotional closeness or self-revealing moments in her narratives. Only after further gentle inquiry did the real reason for her visit become clear: deep loneliness, combined with a fear of entering into a new relationship.
The Core Issue: Fear of Attachment and the Fear of Repetition
After extended, sensitive probing, it became apparent that the client had experienced a painful breakup in the past: her last partner had left her for another woman. This experience seems to have had a profound impact – not just as a loss, but as a rupture in her self-image and in her trust in her own ability to love.
Eventually, the client voiced the central question herself: “What would you recommend I do to find a suitable partner again?”
This moment marked a key point in the process. Her expectations were tangible: she was looking for advice – perhaps even a kind of “solution plan.” But coaching is not a repair service that hands out prescriptions. That’s why I redirected the focus toward the power of imagination: I invited her to envision an ideal solution – a life as she would wish it to be, beyond past hurts and disappointments.
The Intervention: Imaginative Work Instead of Problem Analysis
The heart of the session became the invitation to inner imagination. I suggested she consciously activate her fantasy and give herself space to envision a future life with a partner who truly suits her – not as an escape from reality, but as a first gentle contact with her buried longings.
Despite her intellectual clarity and analytical strength, she found it difficult to engage with this exercise. It was as if a protective glass wall stood between her and her inner images. Still, she remained open in the conversation, even if her responses often seemed hesitant and controlled.
The session ended with a concrete assignment: I asked her to write down her life – as she sees it. In addition, she was to formulate three goals: short-, medium-, and long-term. This exercise serves both as a tool for self-reflection and as a foundation for our continued work together. At the same time, I clearly signaled: coaching is an active process that requires participation and self-responsibility.
Coach’s Reflection: Expectation vs. Self-Responsibility
My impression after the session was ambivalent. On the one hand, the client seemed interested and sincerely motivated to initiate change. On the other hand, I sensed resistance – subtle, but noticeable: the expectation that I would not only point out the path, but also walk it for her.
This mindset is familiar to many coaches: clients arrive hoping for “solutions,” yet often overlook that true transformation can only emerge from within themselves. I’m curious to see whether she will take the task seriously or avoid it. If the latter occurs, that too will be a valuable indicator of internal blocks that we can address in the next step.
Conclusion: Coaching as an Invitation to Inner Movement
This session once again highlighted: coaching is not a repair service, but a space of resonance. Within it, uncertainty is allowed to surface, expectations can be questioned, longings admitted, and boundaries recognized.
The client is at a crossroads: she knows she wants change, yet fears the vulnerability that comes with it. The challenge lies in rebuilding her trust in herself – not only as a businesswoman, but as a feeling, loving human being.
Whether she will embrace the assignment remains open. But even this openness is already a meaningful part of the process: because sometimes, change doesn’t begin with answers, but with the honest confrontation of inner questions.